God's Beautiful Work-Marriage

"Then the LORD God said, " It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

"The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man." Genesis 2:22

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2: 24

Is it just me, or should this not amaze us, the fact that of the dust He formed Adam, the fact that from Adam's rib He formed Eve. And this beautiful union God placed, and even now blesses man with. I have a great task at hand as a wife, as a child of God. And more praise and thanksgiving should come from my heart and lips as I learn more and more. Its good to hear Proverbs 10:9-10 "Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser, Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Imagine, the knowledge of God is understanding. May I be resolved to understand Him more so that I am reminded know who I am, and how I am called to live, and in understanding Him, live as a wife pleasing to God ultimately then loving my husband. How wonderful He is to use such a sinner like me for His purpose and will, and its GOOD. Oh, how I need to learn to be Resolved when familiarity and despondency creep up. How marvelous to see His beautiful work from the beginning and see that even in my own life with the blessing of my husband. He is worthy to be loved and adored for eternity, and we cannot even grasp what eternity is. Hmmmm, a lot of scripture to memorize in order to share the truth with others.

Lord help me to love you with all my heart, soul and mind.

Thanks for reading, my love.

How Readest Thou?

I have been reading this short booklet from J.C. Ryle called, "How Readest Thou?" and J.C. Ryle has a gift about instilling conviction, just from telling the truth of the matter, and the Holy Spirit works in the believer to bring that conviction. I am probably half way thru it, but I love this tool God has been using to bring conviction over my sin, and bring reconciliation for that sin so that I can live whole heartedly devoted completely to Him. Something I will share from one section of the book he titles, " 6. No Book Has Been so Neglected & Misused as the Bible" and heres what broke my heart to read....
" Ah! Reader, it is a painful thought that there should be so much profession love to the Bible among us, and so little proof that the Bible is read!" ..."Truly I have cause for saying, no gift of God is so neglected as the Bible. Reader, this neglected book is the subject about which I address you this day. Surely it is no light matter what you are doing with the Bible. Surely when the plague is abroad, you should search and see whether the plague-spot is on you. I charge you, I entreat you, to give an honest answer to my question. What art thou doing with the Bible? Dost thou read it? How readest thou?"

Just think about what Ryle is talking about here. How true it is in the Christian walk of how much we can talk about God but truly how little time we spend with Him. But we are worshippers! How can this be? I pray that my heart's cry be that of Psalm 119:97 "O how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day." I pray that I this be true of me, that I not make excuses, but confess before Him who knows all things, that I need Him, and need help to understand His word, to obey His word, to cling to Him in prayer, and I won't know this need unless I am growing in the knowledge of Christ, of who He is and who I am and how He saved me. I won't grow in this knowledge unless I am in His word!

Hope this also helps you to examine your walk as it did mine. Just some thoughts.

P.S. I love you, my dear sweet husband! We praise God, He answered prayer and has lifted a huge financial burden, and blessed us with a promotion at Bo's job. Your faithfulness DOES continue throughout all generations!!!! Ps.119:90 may I be ready to say this when trials come as well!

The Beauty of Being Married to a Godly Man

I don't think I quite grasped going into my marriage just what a blessing I have in my husband. I love my husband's humor, his personality is outgoing, definitely not shy of strangers, he is warm and welcoming to those he meets, but one of the things I love most about my husband, is his love for me. His care to find out ways to serve me, to find out things I enjoy and to hear him pray for us. It's a revelation, probably more delayed then my simple mind would have liked, but it became clear just how deep God's love is for me. I am amazed to see Bo love me with such selflessness and it occurred to me, just how precious my God's love is for me. And how little I thank Him for it, how often I don't think of its depth, or its richness. During my day, my husband is constantly on my mind, and it brings me comfort to know my husband loves me, he's made a promise before God to do so. Yet, oh how humbling it is to know how little I meditate on the Love of God. And He is eternal, to dwell just on this attribute of His is inexhaustible. Romans 5:6-10 come to mind, 1 John 4 comes to mind. How rich my devotion and the output of my love for my husband would be as well as for others would be if i grew in my understanding of God's love for me. My prayer: Psalm 119:66 "Teach me good discernment and knowledge, For I believe in Your commandments."... v. 73 "Your hands made me and fashioned me; Give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments."
just some thoughts, thanks, my husband, for reading:)

Adjusting to Married Life

I will take the words of a godly woman, to say marriage is "joy unspeakable and full of glory." Nahum 1:7. It has been 2 months since our wedding. And the joy of being in Christ and being married brings so much joy, that both Bo and I are even more eager for Christ to return.

Yes, there are adjustments from living independently to living with your life partner, but the greatest thing is to worship and serve God together. To go through trials knowing your sanctification affects your partner's as well, is so humbling. My response, my attitude, has a direct affect on my husband, Bo. How my relationship with God is doing, will affect how willing and ready I am to fulfill my role as a wife. This is an adjustment. And a really good one too. My mind and my heart are adjusting to not thinking of myself, but thinking of Bo first. I am so thankful for this challenge to die to my selfish ways and thoughts, so that I may grow in my love for Bo and ultimately grow in my understanding of God's love for me.

Prayer: That I may cling to my God in prayer, and store His precepts in my heart so that I may honor Him in all that I do, and love my husband, Bo, selflessly with encouraging words and a heart ready to receive him with a kiss and a smile.

These are just some thoughts.

The Secret

I should say that it is no secret at all, in fact, just a diversion.

In September 2007 I started a job doing Internet Marketing and during my training time I noticed an interesting pattern. My boss and the training materials were coming from a perspective of "Positive Energy" philosophy. What I notice was that in an indirect manner was this idea of "Put it out there so the Universe knows about it."

By the end of training we had to watch this movie titled "The Secret." It broke my heart just watching it because so many people have bought into this great Lie. The basic concept is this: The Universe is your genie and delivers what it is that you want, you just have to believe. It is a genie with unlimited wishes to be had and you become the creator of your own destiny as if the Universe is here to worship you, something that will exist even when you are dead and gone.

Now there are many things wrong with this idea but it thrives on you being fulfilled financially.

Now it does sound good, I can't deny it, but it is not truth.

When I was back home at my Grandmother's funeral all of this came to mind. As I looked at my family I realized that they were grieved so much because they have no hope and their pain from the death of my Grandmother had nowhere to go except deep into their souls.

Unlike my mom and me, they have to bear their burdens alone, apart from a Comforter.
Now with this Secret I realized that there is no comfort for the lose of a loved one. There is no amount of positive energy that one can put out there to change the destiny of another.

But God in His word has stated in Job 14:5 that "Mans days are determined, The number of his months is with You; And his limits You have set so that he cannot pass."

Now dealing with my grandmother's death, this brought me comfort to know that God had intended for my grandmother to die when she died and how she died. It wasn't because the Universe didn't deliver. It wasn't because I didn't believe enough, put it out there enough, or that I was positive enough. It was because God is sovereign and He is the mover and shaker, plus it wasn't contingent upon my "energy."

So what I have learned from this is that there are a multitude of lies being told to break you apart from the Living God, to get you to pursue yourself and what you think you deserve opposed to realizing that you are a desperate individual in need of desperate Grace. What it is doing is setting you up for failure, if you believe this.

Truth is something greater than what we want. Truth is objective not subjective. Truth will exist even when you won't. The sun will shine tomorrow just like it did today, yesterday and all of the time before. The wind will blow in the same manner. You don't change that, that Truth will remain. The same with God, He will be here tomorrow whether you or I will be or not. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Men will murder tomorrow just like they did today, and men will help a starving child. Evil will still take place and certain people will still do good. But that doesn't change the simple fact that God controls all. Tomorrow your world could be rocked and you don't even know it.

Point: I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago for a check up. I go in as an individual who is normal and I come out an Anemic. What is that? It is something that I don't have control over. Now I have to watch what I eat and eat more of what I don't like, veggies. That stinks!

But my point is this, we don't have an ounce of control over our lives like we think we do. And it doesn't matter how much positive energy you have, you will be let down by this life apart from a Hope in God, namely Jesus Christ, because he is the only one who can conquer this life, and He already has. He is the one who fulfills, but it's not like you think.

See my next post for that explaination!!!

What is God Doing? Or Better Stated, What God is Doing!

The year 2008 has been an interesting journey thus far. God has been doing major things, not directly to my life per se, but to family and friends which only has an effect on my life.

We always hear about seasons of life, and it is always in the context of the person’s life whose season is over and a fresh one is beginning. But God has revealed to me that when someone’s season changes, it changes everyone’s who is involved in that person’s life.

And now you can say that I am in a new season of life myself, learning how to cope with change, and supporting others whose season has been affected by the change also.

I will start with a real good friend of mine named Adam Chaps. He was one of the greatest blessings God has given to me thus far in my walk with Christ. He is what I call a pillar in my life and in many others as well. He was my bible study leader for the past 3 or so years, became a close friend and a huge inspiration.

But God had different needs for him. Adam was offered an Associate Pastor position at his home church in the San Francisco area, and he gladly accepted it. His final day in L.A. was the end of January and now he is off to a new season of life. But a good friend of mine named Julia said it best, “God is not taking him from us, He is just giving Adam to someone else, someone who needs him.”

It is amazing how God moves people around and puts them in places where they are needed, where their gifts will be maximized if only we are not afraid to accept the call.

It was a hard thing for me to accept, in a certain way, because he was the first one I ran to when I was in need of any council, first to run by my side when tragedy would happen, and was the first to instigate prayer for me when I was in my lowest points. With all of the responsibilities he had, he made time for me seeking me out when it was me who was the one with the need. An amazing guy, great friend, and a dear brother in Christ that I miss so much, but I know that the Kingdom is being affected in way more ways now than before, so I praise God for his departure.

The second change in my life that has brought in a new season was another good friend being called elsewhere, my dearly beloved roommate Aaron Ashoff. He was halfway through seminary when God gave him an opportunity to do what he is most passionate about, and that was serving the needy. Living out James 1:27 has been his life’s ambition, and God was faithful to fulfill that desire because Aaron had set his heart upon the things of the Lord and wanted what Christ wants. So Aaron now is over in Ethiopia serving with Samaritan’s Purse.

Aaron is one of the first guys that I built a close relationship with in my walk with Christ and has always been an encouragement to me with his love for the Savior and his humility. When he would go through times of not knowing where his life was headed, or if he was doing what was most expedient for the Kingdom, he would always go back to the Word of God and find security and comfort there. He was set on the joy that only God brings.

He was another I ran to for comfort and council. Another whom I loved dearly and will be greatly missed in my life. We would sit for hours talking about what we are doing with our lives in light of the ministry needs the body has and taking the gospel of Jesus Christ to all of the nations. We would thrive on verses like 2 Corinthians 4:15 and make that our goal. He always pointed me back to Christ when nothing else made sense and reminded me constantly of the Grace of God.

So he is another pillar that God has given to someone else and I know that he will be mightily used for the purposes of God. I strive to emulate his passion to serve the risen King in all that I do, even when nothing else makes sense.

Finally, another move that God has done is brought about a rocky road for my family. My Grandma suffered for majority of her life with health issues. In the mid 1983 she lost a breast to cancer. She over came that and pushed on with her life. She was also a diabetic always having to get shots and such, but I never remember her ever complaining about it.

In 2001 she and my mom came and visited me in L.A. and we had a good o’ time. But at the end of her stay I had taken her to Santa Monica pier and she tripped over a stud in the wood and messed up her knee. It seemed like that was the beginning of all of her suffering for the next 7 years.

She had a knee replacement but it was not a good one. She would fall and break other bones and she was on some major pain meds that made her impotent. For awhile she wasn’t capable of doing much in the way of neither exercise nor physical therapy.

But then she was determined to get better when her internals would fail. In 2003 she fell victim to breast cancer again and lost her other breast. In 2005 she had to have a pace maker put in which only lead to worse issues. She had no lymph nods in her left arm because of the cancer and that was the arm the doctor went in on to put in the pace maker. She was under constant threat of loosing her left arm due to the swelling because her arm wasn’t able to drain it out.

But the beginning of this year she ended up in intensive care due to internal bleeding. In one 24 hour period she was loosing one liter of blood an hour, she coded or flat lined twice and couldn’t have a dialysis done due to her blood being forced to clot. She really had a rough go at it.

She pulled through and started improving. She was a major question mark to the doctors. She was an anomaly. They couldn’t figure her out. They kept saying that they didn’t expect her to make it through the night or through the week.

Then it happened. The doctors came and talked to my mom letting her know that they can’t keep intruding on my grandma to keep her alive, when in fact they were only making her worse. Three or four hours later the Lord called her home.

The dreaded phone call that I didn’t want to answer finally came. After years of being on the edge it finally came to an end.

The good news is my grandma was a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and she is now at peace completely and she is worshipping Him without any distractions of pain and suffering. She is complete.

What I learned through this time is that God’s love is manifested through suffering. When compared to the sufferings of Christ, God’s love is magnified. And because of that love my grandma is covered by the sufferings of Christ and is at peace with her maker. She is at home.

It hasn’t been easy to adjust. The idea that you can’t speak to someone, tell them how much you love them, nor see them again in this life is pain staking. But there is a hope that we will be reunited again in the heavenly places.

That is what I expressed in the Eulogy for my Grandma.

What a hope to know that those who die in Christ are not dead but they live. Their mortal flesh may be decaying but their spirit lives on. And there is a hope of having a resurrected body. Keeping our eyes fixed on Him who is the author and perfecter of our faith.

And God is so great in all of this, teaching me that in all of this that my faith can’t be dependent upon any living mortal, but only in Him. He is the only eternal source unlike our loved ones. Sooner or later they fail us or let us down. They depart from us, but not God for He never departs. Scripture says that we groan for God as if He was far from us, when He is near (Acts 17:27). Man I love God and His word.

So for those who know the living One, find comfort in the fact that God never departs from you, for it was Christ who said that He will never leave nor forsake you.

And for those who have not trusted in Christ for your salvation, understand that our hearts are written with eternity on them. Nothing in this life will satisfy us to point of us being fulfilled, continuously. We experience momentary satisfaction in the pursuit of our sins, but Christ says those who drink from His well will never thirst again. I pray that you will treasure Christ over any faulty pursuit in this life. All that you have to do is repent and believe. Paul says if you profess Christ with your lips and believe in your HEART that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved (Romans 10:9).

That is my prayer for you.

Loving Father, God of all comfort, I find joy in you now that you are always here. I am never alone for your love abounds in me, even when it feels like you are nowhere to be found. Your promises that have made in your scriptures bring comfort to my soul and I can say with confidence, "It is well with my soul." Just to imagine that you look upon me with approval baffles me, since I can offer you my sin. But because of your Son and His death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead, you have given me life and comfort and peace, even through the most difficult trials. When my grandma past, it was You who said to me, "I find it joy to bring my daughter home." It was You who reminded me, "It is better to be seperate from the body and to be at home with Me." It was You who strengthened my mom with, "To live is Christ, and to die is gain." Apart from your word Father, we are all lost. Apart from Your Son, we are all doomed. But you have been rich in mercy for all who would believe.
So Father, I pray that you will continue to save the lost through us, using us to complete your work. And I pray that those who do not know you, who do not believe that you will open their eyes so that they may see and taste what is Good. For apart from you Lord, we drink from a dry fountain.
Lord Jesus, please come, please bring an end to all of the blasphemy done to your name. For Your name sake I pray, that You will come and reign in Glory and Honor on this earth, and make us complete so that we can love You perfectly.
And until that day, protect us from the evil one, protect us from ourselves.

All for Your Glory
Amen

Eulogy for Grandma (delivered on Feb 11, 2008)

Something for Grandma

The impact of what my grandma had on the people she touched will never been known in this life. In fact, we won’t know until her life is tested before God.

But what I do know is this; she was a hero to my mom, and to me.

To see the relationship my mom had with her was enough for me to desire that same relationship with my mom. They were like two peas in a pod. My grandma was what made my mom tick, and was what caused her to love my brother and me more.

To see how she was humble enough to let her kids take care of her when she was in her greatest despair, and then turn around and give out of her lack.

She was a true lover of her family. She was by no means a perfect woman, but even in her imperfections she did well.

My Grandma was a fun lady, had a great sense of humor and she was dear to my heart. Having her as my grandma was a special honor that I did not deserve, but I thank God for that blessing she was in my life.

I remember in my teens we would sit and play cards for hours on in, she loved cards, and she would always challenge me on how I would carry myself and the way I would speak because she knew what kind of world waited for me and what kind of man I needed to be. She wanted what was best for me and she knew that it started with me.

She always assured me that she was very proud of me and we would talk about what I was doing with my life and she always had great encouraging words to say that only made me want to live a life that would be honoring. Not only honoring to her and my mom, but also honoring to the Lord.

Even when she was hospitalized she always made sure that our conversations were not about her condition, but what I was making of my life. She loved me and I knew it. She loved all of us, her kids and her grandkids and great grandkids.

But all of her struggles over the past seven years really strengthened her spirit and prepared her for where she is at now.

I want to read something to comfort you all with from the Word of God.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
13But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.
14For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.
15For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.
16For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
17Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.
18Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Even though her body lies her today, her spirit doesn’t. Even though her body is dead, Grandma lives on. She put her faith in the only one who can give life. She put her faith in Jesus Christ for her salvation, and it was Christ and Christ alone for it was Christ who said that He came to give life and give it more abundantly.

Over the past two years she and I would talk about life, death, and what comes next. I would talk with her about Christ and His saving work and she always reminded me, “Honey, I believe that.”

Grandma was at peace with her death because she knew what Paul was saying in 2 Corinthians 5:6-8 that it is better to absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord, and because scripture comforts us with this, I am at peace also.

Psalm 116:15
“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.”

As we all know that funerals are not for the deceased, but for the living.

So it would be fitting to share with you what her and I talked about, and I know that’s what she would want from me.

Psalm 90:12
Teach us, O Lord, to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.

Soon one day we will all taste this death that grandma tasted, but not all of us will live on. Scripture tells of a great hope for those who accept the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ and Christ alone, and tells of a horror story of those who reject the precious gift that He gives.

For we all are deserving of the horror story, namely hell, because we have not lived up to the standard of perfection, we have not loved God perfectly. But God being rich in mercy shed His grace through Jesus Christ His son to make us perfect, because God knows that we are not able to attain perfection, He made a way for us to be.

Christ died a sinner’s death while the sinner is able to live a perfect life, even though imperfect. Christ perfect life is credited to those who will accept it, repent of their sins, trust Him for their salvation, and once He rose from the dead conquering death, those who trust Him will never taste the horrible story, never taste the pit of hell away from the presence of God.

And that’s what my grandma did. She trusted in the perfection of Christ to give her life, and not trusting in her own good works, for no one is good. She found hope, she found peace, and now she is experiencing the greatest joy beyond human imagination.

She is at home with the One who died her death; she is at home with Christ her God. She suffers no longer in the flesh, but blissfully reigns with Him on high, making the most of Him and loving Him perfectly.

Now I know that she would want that for all of you, and my prayer is that you will one day taste what she is living now.

I will see my Grandma again, I am confident of that. Christ is the ruler and sustainer of my life and I have a hope to worship Christ perfectly standing next to her.

I hope you will do the same.